Etiquette of an Argument 

It was a crime of passion, in the heat of the moment and blinded by rage; we’ve heard it all before and we know it looks like this: 😡. This helpful pint sized face means that you’re peeved, but what happens when **it really hits the fan? When it’s not an off the cuff text to your BFF? When your blood is boiling and you’re so mad you’re vibrating? First of all, thank you for recognizing that you need advice. Secondly, anger needs to be resolved from the inside-out. Ready? Let’s break it down?! *insert beat drop*

1. Breathe. Detach from the issue and try to identify the source of the anger. Take a moment to investigate what’s actually bothering you. 

a. Ensure you’re arguing with the right person. Where’s this conflict coming from? And with whom are these feelings connected? (We’ve all argued with our significant other when we’re really mad at our belittling boss.)

b. What is it you’re arguing about. Do you you feel misunderstood? Disrespected? If it helps, write down the specifics in a personal journal or document, but don’t bring that letter to the table, unless it’s an intervention.

2. Set out a clear objective. When conflict arises, it’s easy to point out the problem, but if you provide solutions the likelihood of resolution is exponentially greater. Clarity is key, 9 times out of 10, the conflict arises from miscommunication. 

3. Play nice. Keep it factual, current and topical. We all know what it’s like to be personally attacked for issues that are professional, or to have past conflicts weighted and reiterated on current situations. Don’t dredge up the past, unless it’s an ongoing issue, that has yet to reach resolution. 

4. Agree upon an outcome. This is key to resolving your conflict. If both parties decide to make an effort to prevent this blood boiling row in the future, everyone can work towards that goal together. I’m a fan of: Team work makes the Dream work.

Anger is uncomfortable. It rips relationships apart and burns lives down to the ground. But anger can cleanse too, clearing out all those dried emotions to make way for the new growth. So, don’t avoid anger, just keep it to a controlled burn, for after the fire comes rebirth. And, there’s an emoji for that too: 🌈


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