It’s Complimentary, My Dear

I love your boots! Your work is always completed before the deadline and I appreciate that! Oh wow, look at your hair! You have an amazing smile! You’re one of the funniest people I know. I love spending time with you. How did that make you feel? Good? Surprised? Shy and embarrassed? Well, get used to it baby, cuz every single person deserves to be complimented…for something. When I was younger (last week) I learned that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you should say nothing at all. What I take that to mean is; when you have something nice to say, you should say it loud and often. See what I did there? I turned a negative into a positive. Now, come with me, on a brief journey into the Land of Learning.

The art of giving and receiving a compliment is one as old as, well looking, feeling and behaving well. Now, there’s obviously a give and take aspect to this interaction. So, let’s delve deeper.

Giving: Compliments express our admiration, astonishment and overall appreciation of one another. By offering a sincere compliment, we reinforce what we perceive to be “good” or “nice” or “pretty”. We are essentially thanking the complimentee for their contribution to improving themselves and the world around them. I know this sounds dramatic, but at the base of every compliment we are expressing gratitude, and that gratitude, when genuine, can improve the overall status of our relationships and life in general. We’ve all received compliments rooted in jealousy or lined with insincerity and they just don’t feel the same tingly, lovey-dovey way that a genuine compliment does, I don’t recommend it. The act of giving a compliment should feel as good as receiving one.

The 3 keys to giving great compliments:
Be honest and specific, without expectation.

Receiving: This is where we (the Royal, We) tend to get muddled. Compliments, especially genuine ones can be a jarring and overwhelming experience. And it’s not cuz we don’t deserve to be complimented, it’s because we don’t expect anyone to really take the time to be grateful for us. Even, if it’s just for our keen fashion sense. I have been guilty of many flawed complimentary transactions. Before completing my etiquette studies, I would offer a rushed compliment back as though the scales of niceties needed to be balanced. Or I would disagree with their compliment. My “Aw no, you really think so….?” attitude would deflate the complimenter’s good intentions. So, what you ask is the answer? Why, it’s simple. When you are given a compliment, say thank you. A smile also helps, but honestly, that’s it. Sit in that compliment for a minute, let it hug you, and you’ll find yourself eager to spread that feeling to another, with genuine enthusiasm. Ah, the circle of love, it just keeps spinning around.

The 3 keys to receiving great compliments:
Hear it, hold onto it and say thank you.

I know, it can be hard to hear how others feel about us. I know it can be really hard to feel good about ourselves, but if we listen to those around us, we will find out a few things we didn’t know to be true. And those compliments will keep coming, if you put in the effort to become the person you hope to be. Thank you for reading my words and all your lovely compliments. Also, I think you’re great, so take that compliment and receive it.

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